alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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