My first STD was from a foam party
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
