I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
