Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just found a bag of teeth...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
