I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
