: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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