My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We have started to decorate penises.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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