I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
