Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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