the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
