omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
