Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
