When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
