How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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