My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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