grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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