carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i out mim tonsoeep
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