this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
