took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
