No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
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My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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