Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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