Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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