So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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