She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
