I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
