you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
