I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
