I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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