I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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