You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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