please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize