You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
