Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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