he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
