I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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