hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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