Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
