Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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