help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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