I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
