If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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