Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
