my room smells like sperm. sweet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
