It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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