I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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