Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
