Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
