Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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