its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
