wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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