If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
