so explain again why im purple
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.