i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"