i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
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I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.