Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
