Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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