his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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