Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
