I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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