some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
