he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
