im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize