We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
