He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
